Walk of Shame at Legoland

Rhett recounts how he tries to ride the Joust at Legoland, when the ride operator calls him out and forces him to do “the walk of shame” in front of a large crowd of onlookers. Now that he’s been humiliated, Rhett begins seeing warning signs everywhere, including this ominous message at the Legoland water park: “Do not enter the water if you are ill with diarrhea.”  With that point of reference for their conversation, Rhett and Link embark upon another Good Mythical Morning.

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The Incredible Shrinking Man

As the election approaches, President Kardashian — er, Obama — keeps looking smaller all the time. He no longer grants interviews with the mainstream media, but only exchanges gossip with the celebrity rags — People, Entertainment Tonight, Glamour. Says Bill Whittle in his latest installment of Afterburner, “He’s shown himself to be a base, petty, small, little man — the President of the United States, reduced to C-list venues and desperate tactics — ‘Thank you for your wedding gift money.'” H/T PJTV

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Brain Hacking

In 1959, Richard Condon wrote one of the most chilling political thrillers of all time — The Manchurian Candidate — about a Korean War prisoner brainwashed by the Communists and transformed into a “sleeper agent.” Unbeknownst to him, he was literally a walking time bomb, hardwired so he could be triggered to carry out an assassination years later by the flashing of a simple sign — the Queen of Diamonds in a game of Solitaire.

Sounds like fiction? Well, fast-forward to 2012. Now, scientists have demonstrated they can “hack” into the human brain, and extract vital secrets, even from unwilling subjects, using technology no more advanced than a video game headset. The mind boggles pondering the possibilities. H/T SourceFed

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InfraMan

Princess Dragon Mom

Today’s Trillion $ Movie, Inframan, is a 1975 film from Hong Kong that can stake out three claims to fame — some of the wildest mutant monsters on the planet, ferocious kung-fu action and the vixenish villainess, Princess Dragon Mom, a power-mad dominatrix who cracks a mean whip and looks like a cross between a Valkyrie and a K-pop star with bleached-blonde hair.

The film doesn’t waste any time. Hong Kong is practically leveled within the first three minutes, as Princess Dragon Mom awakens from a 1,000-year sleep, causing her volcanic lair, Mount Devil, to erupt and transform before our eyes into a skull-capped peak. She quickly summons her minions — the Octopus Mutant, the Laser Horn Monster, the Giant Beetle Monster, the Driller Beast, the Emperor of Doom, the Iron-Fist Robots, the She-Demon and her hordes of Skull Warriors. They stand ready to back up her nefarious plans for world dominion, which she plainly announces:

“Greetings to you, Earthlings! I am Princess Dragon Mom. I have taken over this planet. Now I own the Earth and you will be my slaves for all eternity.”

Just a few of Inframan’s foes.

Not so fast, Dragon Mom. At Science Patrol headquarters, Professor Chang scratches his loose-fitting toupee as he ponders how to protect the planet from a fate worse than death. His answer: Subject his willing assistant Rayma to a near-lethal dose of radiation. As a result of this bionic process, Rayma will become InfraMan, a flying superhero with X-ray vision, who can withstand “the suffering of hell” and fight back with Thunder Ball Fists.

Inframan was made by the Shaw Brothers, who cranked out fast-punching, hard-kicking kung-fu movies by the dozens. Here, they not only add a cool, sci-fi veneer, but also many wonderful layers of campy silliness. You won’t soon forget the sight of the mutant monsters dancing inside the cave they call home.  A Japanese superhero with his own TV show, Ultraman, inspired this Hong Kong knock-off, and both, in turn, served as forerunners for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Enjoy the fun, and do return next Friday for another Trillion $ Movie.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The full movie of INFRAMAN is no longer available on YouTube, except for paying customers. Since we can’t show you the full movie, we’ll present the trailer as well as one of the better scenes.).

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Code Pink Infiltrates RNC

One Code Pink protester, sans the distinctive giant vagina plumage, succeeded temporarily in disrupting the Republican National Convention in Tampa tonight before being thrown out. Upon her exit, she faced a barrage of questioning about her extremist tactics, but the cordon of reporters failed to ask her the more pertinent and mundane questions: How’s your PoliGrip holding up? And how can you afford to lube that giant vagina you left outside the door, exit stage left? H/T Reveal Politics

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