Kingdom Of The Spiders
After Jaws made a huge splash in 1977, Hollywood rushed to release a slew of movies that copied Jaws‘ formula for success — deadly animals running amok and terrorizing entire towns. Today’s Trillion Dollar Movie was one of the first, and best, of these Jaws wannabes. Set in the parched deserts of Arizona, Kingdom of the Spiders stars William Shatner, Tiffany Bolling and Woody Strode, but the real attraction: More than 5,000 live, creepy, crawling tarantulas unleashed to attack cows, dogs and humans by spider wrangler Jim Brockett.
Shatner portrays cowboy veterinarian Rack Hansen, working in concert with entomologist Diane Ashley (Bolling), to exterminate the threat posed by the super-venomous, eco-freak spiders. Shatner fits the role to a tee. He gets to ride a horse, lasso a lady and, in a hair-raising display of bravado, endure an eight-legged arachnid scampering on his cheeks. Bolling, the sexy blonde from the drive-in hit Candy Snatchers, demonstrates even more resolve.
The suspense builds to a fever-pitch as the story progresses, ending on a truly chilling note. This is a B-movie, but a well-made one, directed by John “Bud” Carlos, whose father ran Grauman’s Egyptian and Chinese theaters. Come back next Friday for another Trillion ($) Movie.
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Gorgo, this week’s Trillion Dollar Movie, might be mistaken for a British riff on Godzilla, except for one important fact: Godzilla was fashioned after The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, made in 1953 by none other than Eugene Lourie, the creator of Gorgo. Thus, Lourie wasn’t guilty of plagiarism when he shot the widescreen Gorgo in 1961, using a radiant Technicolor. Instead, he was re-appropriating his own original concept, after it had been recycled and rejuvenated in Japan.
Somewhere on the spectrum between Frankenstein and Re-Animator, you’ll find today’s Trillion Dollar Movie: The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. But it’s a sleazier, low-budget example of this horror genre, shot on the cuff in 1959 and finally released in 1962 after writer-director Joseph Green secured a distribution deal.
To the accompaniment of a wailing saxophone, his search takes him to the Moulin Rouge strip club, the Miss Body Beautiful contest and, ultimately, to the artist studio where a disfigured, man-hating model poses for a gaggle of leering cameramen. The women he’s stalking are quite cheeky, one saying, “Who’s to tell me to blow if I don’t want to?” Meanwhile, Jan is back at the lab, plotting her revenge with a cone-headed monster, resembling Sloth from The Goonies, mistakenly created by one of Dr. Bill’s earlier experiments that went awry. The dialogue is priceless as Jan tells the creature: “I’m only a head, and you’re whatever you are, but together, we’re strong.”
Before penning several of the Star Trek movies, screenwriter Nicholas Meyer broke into the film business in 1973 by crafting a sexy and super-fun B-movie — Invasion of the Bee Girls, described by Roger Ebert as “the best schlock soft-core science fiction movie since maybe The Vengeance of She.”
Today’s Trillion ($) Movie is a special treat: GAMERA — DESTROY ALL PLANETS, the 1968 sequel to GAMERA, THE INVINCIBLE and GAMERA VS. GYAOS. Here, everyone’s favorite airborne, spinning Turtle whistles “Happy Together” as he fights to save the Earth from invading, beret-wearing aliens who threaten Tokyo, as well as two innocent Boy Scouts. Some viewers might scoff at the crazy nonsense, but it does seem rather prophetic: Aren’t the Boy Scouts under siege these days from Liberal loonies known to wear berets and spout alien ideals?
Every Friday, Call Me Stormy will offer a new Trillion $ Movie (T$M) — certified platinum classics from the vaults of YouTube. Our debut feature: Mario Bava’s PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES, starring Barry Sullivan and Brazilian bombshell Norma Bengell. Released in 1965 by American International Pictures, it’s often cited as a major influence on Ridley Scott’s ALIEN, both visually and plotwise. So, pop yourself a bag of popcorn, top off a 32-ounce Slurpee in honor of Mayor Bloomberg, and enjoy.
