Call Me Stormy

Finding righteous currents in turbulent times

Positively Voltaic

Reporting from the War for the Whitehouse Bunker, Andrea Bennett and Jason Copland from The Onion News Network put up a voltaic front as they struggle to maintain their excitement while a copter circles overhead, marking the countdown to the 2012 election. Knocking back rumors that Ann Romney once had a lesbian affair, the Onion crew nevertheless drops a bombshell, finding that “The average American voter is a 36-year-old Hispanic man obsessed with trivia and filled with deep shame.”

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