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Archive for the tag “The Onion”

Alex Jones Still Won!

The Onion bought InfoWars — or tried to — and Alex Jones somehow came out of it looking like the winner after leftist comedian Tim Heidecker FLOPS in his attempt to parody Jones.

After being ordered to pay $1.4 billion to Sandy Hook Shooting families for calling the shooting a hoax, the courts started liquidating his assets. The Onion swooped in, won the auction, got blocked by a judge, came back with a lease deal for $81,000 a month, got blocked again by a Texas appeals court, and now it’s sitting with the Texas Supreme Court while Jones does his last show and immediately fires up a new stream at alexjoneslive.com with 129,000 live viewers.

The Onion’s big plan to parody InfoWars is being led by Tim Heidecker from Tim and Eric, and SugarTits and I watched the preview. He drinks fake blood and does an Alex Jones voice. That’s the bit. The problem is Alex Jones is already at eleven out of ten — you literally cannot parody a man who predicted 9/11 on tape several months before it happened and named Osama bin Laden specifically.

They’re paying half a million dollars over six months to lease a website to do an impression of a guy who is funnier than any impression of him could ever be, while the man himself just moved studios, kept his audience, and is already back on air. They tried to silence Alex Jones and created a Streisand effect. Classic. Here’s more from Bearing.

InfoWars Closes Its Doors

Alex Jones and his crew of Free Speech warriors in Austin, Texas, closed down InfoWars this week, ending the company after 27 years. InfoWars will be gone, but Jones promises to return via a new news and investigative journalism outlet. “The next phase starts. The real war begins now” Jones told viewers as he signed off.

He got burned after multiple court rulings against him, mostly centering around the Sandy Hook case and Jones’ controversial statements about it being a false flag involving crisis actors. Lawyers representing the Sandy Hook families held his feet in the fire after winning a $1.5 billion judgment.

The Onion, allegedly a leftist ‘satirical’ outfit, has bought out InfoWars, pledging to continue reparations to the Sandy Hook families. Here, comedians Kurt Metzger and Jimmy Dore take stock of the InfoWars downfall on The Jimmy Dore Show.

Hey, Kat! Take a Hike!

A lefty attacks an ICE facility outside Chicago, Illinois, refusing to move when officers tell her to leave because she’s blocking vehicle access into and out from the facility. The woman, who’s running for the U.S. House from Illinois’ 9th District, gets pissed because she’s arrested and now faces federal charges. Her name: Kat Abughazaleh.

No, she’s not an illegal migrant. She belongs to a Kuwati family that emigrated to the United States after World War II.

She gained a social media following as a member of Media Matters for America, leading criticism of Tucker Carlson on Fox News. She lives in Chicago with Ben Collins, the CEO of The Onion, the leftist satirical magazine. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Infowars Rises From The Ashes

Alex Jones made a triumphant return to the Infowars Studios, after a bankruptcy judge blocked the sale of the troubled network to The Onion.

Judge Christopher Lopez paused the sale following concern from Infowars lawyers that the auction was improperly conducted. Global Tetrahedron, The Onion’s parent company, said the purchase was meant to be “more of a joke,” and that the satirical site was going to relaunch Infowars early in 2025 as a parody of itself. Here’s more from Jones.

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