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Archive for the tag “The Salty Cracker”

Prada Parades Butt-Ugly Model

How did Hollywood prove its ability to foresee the future? Simply go back in time to the 2004 movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

We might revel in the bravery of the hero Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn) or the mastery of the coach Patches O’Houlihan, played by Rip Torn. But was there ever a romantic Hollywood actress quite as homely as Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky, the dodgeball villain turned lover-girl played by Missi Pyle?

Well, now Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky has some real competition. Prada has hired Kamala Harris’ daughter Ella Emhoff to promote its brand of women’s designer sunglasses. Prada must be going for the butt-ugly look! What a joke on the marketing front. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Football Stars Crime Targets

Rich, lefty football players keep getting their mansions robbed. It happened to the Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow. Now, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs had his home burglarized, as did the Chiefs’ quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

The NFL Network has blamed the heists on a ring of South American criminals and says the FBI is investigating. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Climate Grifter

The Arctic Ice caps are now 26 percent larger than they measured in 2012. So much for global warming!

What should we make of climate grifters like the bloated Al Gore? Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Sus: Firing Squad For Catturd

Dan Crenshaw, the Texas Congressman, is threatening to sue Catturd over accurate statements. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

You’re A Mean One!

An undercover police officer dresses up as the Grinch to make a drug bust. The raid was carried out in Peru’s capital of Lima. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Prank, Bro!

A TikTok prankster has been arrested for spraying poison on a Walmart produce section. Charles Smith, the self-described social media “villain,” was charged with spraying Hot Shot — a bed bug and flea killer spray — on produce at a Walmart in Mesa, Ariz., a suburb of Phoenix. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

The San Francisco Treat

They don’t have the money to hire cops  to solve their rampant crime problems, but San Francisco has brought on board a fat woman as a member of the city health department to promote fatness. This underscores how lucky we are that Kamala Harris lost the presidential election. Can you imagine what kind of new bureaucrats she might bring on board? Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Fired Front

Surprise, surprise! Now that Christopher Wray has resigned as director of the FBI, the Patriot Front has shut down. The Patriot Front was an alleged American white supremacist and Nazi-hate group. Want to bet this group didn’t consist of Nazis or white supremacists, but simply FBI agents trying to stir up trouble for conservatives? Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

Prison Tuah

The Hawk Tuah girl, Haliey Welch, might end up in prison as her sketchy crypto coin implodes. The coin, listed as Hawk, hit a market value of $490 million on the Solana blockchain, only to plunge more than 90 percent a few hours later. Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

They’re Above The Law!

The moronic and doctrinaire leftist Whoopi Goldberg loses it after her co-host on The View calls Joe Biden a liar.

Biden has been saying for many months he would not pardon Hunter Biden. But when push came to shove, Biden issued the pardon.

In other words, he’s a stinking liar! Here’s more from The Salty Cracker.

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