Call Me Stormy

Finding righteous currents in turbulent times

Archive for the tag “Bearing”

24 Jul 2026

The Unhinged Lady Meatloaf

Lady Meatloaf is COMPLETELY UNHINGED 💀

Lady Meatloaf is running for Senate in Maine and we could not be more delighted.

Ashley Webb — a large man who bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain rock legend — recently appeared in a Democratic US Senate debate alongside three completely normal human candidates: a former senior government official, a space weather forecaster, and a bloke whose wife cashed in her 401k so he could open a brewery.

And then there’s Lady Meatloaf, swaying like a metronome, mumbling about the reflecting pool algae, and explaining that his single biggest policy platform revolves around ‘bathroom access’.

We also cover Lady Meatloaf’s Reddit history — which involves a ‘monthly cycle’, a karyotype of XY, and a theory about what’s causing it that we’ll let you discover for yourself. Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Moonbattery and tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
17 Jul 2026

Supergirl’s Biggest Fan

Supergirl has landed and it’s tanking harder than Snow White. SugarTits and I don’t really have a dog in this fight — superhero movies aren’t exactly our thing — but what we do love is a spectacular internet slap fight. And Rachel Leishman, Supergirl’s self-proclaimed biggest fan and feminist writer for The Mary Sue, has delivered one for the ages.

Rachel sat down with the Supergirl cast to talk about messy girls, cat ownership, and girl power — and SugarTits and I reacted accordingly. But the real entertainment started when Yellow Flash — one of the anti-woke YouTube commentators Rachel had previously called a misogynistic chud in a Mary Sue article — decided to respond to her glowing Supergirl reviews in his own special way. What followed was one of the most savage Twitter exchanges we’ve witnessed all year.

We’re not endorsing any of it. We’re just observers. Very entertained observers.Also — the movie tanked. Obviously.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in That's Entertainment! and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
03 Jul 2026

Guido’s Call: Buy My Undies!

Adam Hyde aka Guido McShortass aka Abbie Chatfield’s handbag holder – has barely touched down from his American deportation and he’s already landed himself a Bonds underwear brand ambassadorship. Yes, that Bonds. Australia’s most iconic underwear brand has chosen this man to represent them, and the internet is not happy about it.

SugarTits and I react to the Adam Hyde Bonds campaign in full — including a very concerning look at what may or may not be stuffing — and break down why thousands of Australians are now calling for a full Bonds boycott. Think Bud Light, but with jocks. Bonds is no stranger to controversy either, having previously partnered with Minus 18 on a non-binary underwear campaign, so this latest move is raising a lot of familiar questions about where the brand is headed.

But that’s not all. Where there’s Guido McShortass, Abbie Chatfield is never far behind. We also take a look at Abbie’s latest announcement — a watermark she plans to slap over her face to stop the media from screenshotting her “looking manic” — and spoiler: she doesn’t seem to realize AI exists. We also dig into her upcoming live show, “Abbie Chatfield Loves Men (Not All Men)”, a tour about toxic masculinity that somehow has school group bookings available. Year 10 boys, we’re so sorry.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Consumer Chatter and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
27 Jun 2026

Mogged By France

Clavicular went to Paris to prove France wrong after getting mogged by his own nose job. France was not impressed.

Women rejected him on the street, at festivals, and at fashion week. A group sprayed water at him. A Parisian woman told him to ‘go away’ and Clavicular took that as a sign of immediate danger — so he had goliath security guards whisk him to safety.

He later strutted down the street in a $10,000 suit waiting for people to notice him and heap their praise upon him. They didn’t. His explanation? He’s too famous and good-looking. Cold approaches don’t work when you’re this intimidating.

He also explained that French people eat baguettes because they’re too poor and ugly, got immediately community noted, and revealed that if he were a woman his only two career options would be marrying a Saudi Arabian prince or becoming an OnlyFans wh*re.

This is peak Clavicular cringe.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Consumer Chatter and tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
18 Jun 2026

Too American For The Left

Donald Trump hosted UFC Freedom 250 on the White House lawn for his 80th birthday and SugarTits and I think it was genuinely one of the most badass things we’ve seen come out of America. Fighter jets timed perfectly with the national anthem, Dana White grinning ear to ear, the full boxing ring announcer voice, the works.

The left, predictably, lost their minds. One of Trump’s fighters grabbed the mic and yelled “Michelle Obama is a man” on the White House lawn – in front of the entire world. Super angry car lefties filmed themselves having meltdowns from the driver’s seat. One woman wished Trump a stroke and a heart attack live on camera for his birthday.

And in the most beautiful turn of events, the Democrats decided they needed their own counter event — which featured Bette Midler doing a karaoke-quality anti-fascist singalong to a half empty room.

Meanwhile everyone at the actual UFC event was having the time of their lives. We’re not American. We don’t have a dog in this race. But this was must-watch television.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in That's Entertainment! and tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
17 Jun 2026

How To Be A Man!

Elliot Page — still widely known as Ellen Page from Juno and Inception — sat down with ‘comedian’ Ilana Glazer for a half hour interview about masculinity, transgender identity, gay animals and more. SugarTits and I have pulled out the parts worth watching.

This comes right after the rumor that Elliot Page would be playing Achilles in Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey — which turned out to be false, but produced some of the funniest AI memes of the year, several of which we react to.

In the actual interview, Elliot Page’s advice on masculinity includes: don’t ra*pe anyone, smile more for photos, talk with your hands less, and remember that sometimes healthy masculinity just means having a good cry. At one point Page argues the trans experience can liberate everyone from shame imposed by white supremacist patriarchal structures — a sentence even Page seems to lose track of halfway through.

Let’s delve through the copious amounts of queer vocal fry and listen to two women sit in a room explaining to men what masculinity actually means.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in That's Entertainment! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
12 Jun 2026

Turkish Date Night

Cenk Uygur and Hasan Piker have been very busy scrubbing old clips from the internet — and SugarTits and I have been very busy finding them. This is a preservation service. We are custodians of internet history.

The Young Turks have been on YouTube since 2012 and Cenk has a habit of going to some very interesting places on camera. Multiple times. On different occasions. In different outfits. The topic? Let’s call it animal appreciation. Bernie Sanders endorsed Cenk’s Congressional run in 2020 and then found some old clips and very quickly unendorsed him. These are those clips.

Then there’s Hasan — who this week is simultaneously being investigated by the US Treasury, banned from the UK, attempting to have a Singaporean YouTuber arrested, and apparently having some very interesting things to say about his preferences in a partner. The point of comparison he used is what got us.

We’ve done our best to clean up the audio on these because the original quality is what you’d expect from 2013 YouTube. We present: Turkish date night.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Moonbattery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
10 Jun 2026

It’s That Time To Cringe

Pride Month 2026 is upon us – we’ve found some absolute gems buried in the corporate cringe pile this year. HelloFresh kicked things off by suggesting their high-fiber recipes for people who are “prepping” this Pride Month — yes, that kind of prepping. They also approved a “Bottoms Up” discount code. We’re cancelling our HelloFresh subscription.

But that’s the warm up. The main event is the 2022 Postmates Pride ad which has resurfaced and it is genuinely one of the most deranged pieces of corporate marketing ever committed to video. They partnered with a colorectal surgeon — an actual ass doctor — to create a scientifically approved bottom-friendly menu for Pride Month. Complete with fruits dressed in fishnet stockings, a detailed guide on what to eat so you don’t make a mess, and a very confusing milkshake.

Also on the agenda — the Nashville Predators rebranding as the Gay Predators, the Twink Pride flag from Vitamin Water that is concerning for several reasons, and a Steam game called Pronoun Palace where you defeat enemies using estrogen spells and j!zz ropes. We have questions about the last one.

It’s only the 8th of June. We’ve got three more weeks of this.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Consumer Chatter and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
08 Jun 2026

Hasan’s Super Mega Meltdown

Hasan Piker is having the worst month in communist streamer history and the latest chapter is his most unhinged yet. YouTuber MorePegasus has made approximately 300 videos in his legendary diabolical Hassan Piker series — and Hassan has finally cracked under the pressure – live on stream.
His solution? Report MorePegasus to the Singaporean authorities.

Hassan spent a live stream reading Singapore’s harassment statutes, discovered the country has a death penalty, got visibly excited about execution statistics, and formally announced he would be contacting Singaporean law enforcement about a man teasing him on the internet. He also noted that because MorePegasus is Indian and the judge would likely be ethnic Chinese, the racial dynamics would not favour him as Hasan is (allegedly in our opinion) a Chinese Communist Party fangirl.

This is a man who spent last week screaming about the UK banning him as a free speech issue. He is now attempting to have a man arrested in Singapore for laughing at him on YouTube.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Moonbattery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
06 Jun 2026

Goonpocalypse! OnlyFans Hack!

OnlyFans just leaked 340 million user records — and the data is set to make for some awkward dinner table conversations. It’s GOONPOCALYPSE!! Husbands and boyfriends everywhere are about to have their complete fap schedule handed to their partners on a spreadsheet. Times, frequencies, subscription history. All of it.

Which is why this Caleb Hammer Financial Audit episode has never been more relevant. A couple in their 20s go on the show to fix their finances. She earns more, pays most of the rent, covers most of the bills. He’s perpetually behind on his credit card and hasn’t touched her in almost two months. She’s starting to wonder if she’s unattractive. Caleb pulls up the credit card statement.

It is literally pages long. Multiple OnlyFans accounts. FanFix. An open support ticket because he lost his password and can’t cancel one of the subscriptions. Caleb then takes the phone, logs into the accounts, and personally audits every single subscription on camera while the girlfriend sits next to him finding out in real time.

Her face when that credit card statement appears on screen is television history.

LET’S GO!! Here’s more from Bearing.

Posted in Consumer Chatter and tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Post Navigation

← Older Entries